im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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