I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
