All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
