i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
