At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
