Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Randomize
