there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
