Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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