to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize