I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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