just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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