JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
