She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
