i think i have herpe
just one?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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