pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
