i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
