I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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