So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
