Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize