Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
