Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize