you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Congratulations! We have a period
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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