I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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