But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
