i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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