U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think my moral compass just broke
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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