I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize