I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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