They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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