and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
