I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
