No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
