well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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