i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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