I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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