I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
