Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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