Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
