but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
how drunk are you?
Several
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize