i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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