was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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