yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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