New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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