haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize