My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
