I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
