I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's the barista slut.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
