all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
