shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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