OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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