i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
