its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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