i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
