Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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