Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
