you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
