is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
