I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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