i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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