i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She needs sedatives and a leash
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize